


A Tit for a Dick

by theonewhohums



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Humor, Nudity, Porn Star AU, there's no sex so dont get your hopes up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-03 00:35:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8689699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theonewhohums/pseuds/theonewhohums
Summary: Maka stars in amateur porn produced by “Liz’s team of perverts” and Soul works as a camera man. One day Maka decides it’s time to even the score.(Rated M for nudity only, no actual smut)





	

They hadn’t even been talking about work. Soul was sitting on top of the dresser in the “shooting room” (the spare bedroom in Liz and Patti’s apartment) droning on about how much video editing he had to that weekend while Maka finished getting dressed from the last take, and then she sprung it on him.

“You know Mr. Camera Man, I think it’s about time we saw you naked.”

 

Soul almost choked on his own spit. It took him a good minute of awkward coughing and throat-clearing before he could finally respond to her.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” Maka said with a smile as she pulled her skirt up her legs. “I think that _you_ should get naked for once. You get to see us in the nude all the time, I think it’s only fair.”

"Correction: I _have_ to see you naked. It’s my job as the camera guy. It’s not as if your nudity is a personal strip tease for me.”

"Still,” she said, adjusting her bra strap and scanning the room for her shirt. “We’ve all seen each other naked but you. Really, the only way for this little circle of trust to be complete is if you take your clothes off.” The nonchalance in her voice was slightly off-putting, to say the least.

“No! There’s no way I’m parading around butt-naked for Liz and her crew. That’s not what I’m getting paid for,” Soul said indignantly. He looked by his feet and saw the pale lavender shirt she was looking for, so he picked it up and tossed it to her. She nodded in thanks. Assuming the conversation was over, Soul went back to looking at his camera, flipping through the footage he had gotten and mentally calculating how long it was going to take to edit and give back to Liz.

“Would you do it forjust me?”

The camera almost slipped out of Soul’s hands. “ _Huh?_ ”

She stuck her arms in the holes of her shirt and pulled it over her head. She was smiling again, and Soul just couldn’t comprehend the meaning behind it. “Come on, Soul. We’re friends. I don’t see why it has to be a big deal! Look, I’ll even buy you a meal today if you do it.”

“ _Now?_ ”

"Sure!” she said brightly, pulling her hair out of her collar. “There’s no time like the present. Besides, everyone else has already left for the day.”

The fact that they were alone in Liz’s apartment did the exact opposite of making him feel more comfortable about all of this.

“No way,” he said with a nervous laugh. “I’m not stripping for just you, Maka. Having you stare at my birthday suit would be really awkward.”

“Really awkward? Ha!” Maka let out a humorless laugh. “Soul, you’ve seen me get boned by at least five guys in the last month. You’ve been less than three feet away from me with a camera while I had to fake an orgasm for all of them. Hell, you were there when Liz yelled at me for not moaning loud enough during the sexy librarian role play.” Maka shuddered. “Now _that_ was awkward.” She sat down on the edge of the bed to put her shoes back on. “I think the shame train has officially left the building.”

Soul sighed and set his camera down beside him on the dresser. ‘I guess I just don’t see why this is so important to you.”

Maka shrugged. “I don’t really know either. I guess I just like an even playing field. You’ve seen me nude, so…”

"An eye for an eye? Or, a tit for a dick?”

Maka giggled. “Something like that.”

He shook his head and stood up. “The things I do for friendship are getting weirder and weirder the longer I have this job.” He turned away from Maka and faced the dresser, then grabbed the collar of his shirt and hiked it over his head.

Maka laughed and whistled appreciatively as he dropped the garment to the floor, causing Soul to look over his shoulder and throw her a dry look before continuing to remove his clothes. Next came his pants, which he slowly unbuttoned and pulled down his legs. He stepped out of them in two fluid movements, then tossed them to the side.

“This is very seductive, Soul,” Maka said happily. “Someone has been paying very close attention to what we do.”

“I learn from the best,” he said with a grin that Maka couldn’t see. Taking a deep breath through his nose, Soul then dropped his boxers to the floor, hoping that if he did it fast, like ripping off a Band-Aid, it would be less uncomfortable.

The silence the followed didn’t really help his self-esteem. If Maka was this quiet taking in his backside, what was she going to think when she saw his front?

Then he heard snickers from behind him. God, that was _worse_ than silence. What the hell was she laughing at?

“Your ass is so cute!” she said between giggles. “It’s so pale!”

Ohhh. The tan lines. “Well, not everyone can go to the tanning salon every week like some of the schmucks that come through here. Excuse me for having a natural-colored ass.”

“It looks wonderful with its natural color,” she said good-naturedly.

Well, that seemed to be the closest he was getting to a compliment. Rubbing the back of his neck nervously, Soul contemplated what was going to come next. Sure, he’s been naked in front of girls before, but it was always dark at the time, and in the heat of the moment, so they didn’t really have the chance to get a close look at him. Now his best friend was going to be examining him like an art model. It was nerve-wracking, to say the least.

Maka sat patiently as she waited for him to turn around. She understood that a lot of people were self-conscious about their bodies, and was willing to give Soul time if he needed it. When she first joined Liz’s team of perverts, she was initially really concerned about her figure. Having been called “tiny tits” all her life wasn’t exactly a huge confidence boost. But after being in this business for a while, Maka came to realize that beauty came in all different kinds of packages, and what mattered most was confidence.

(And performance, of course.)

After a few more moments of waiting, Soul finally turned around. Maka’s gaze immediately went south, because that’s what she assumed Soul must have been self-conscious about. It happened to be what she was more curious about as well.

He wasn’t shaved like the men she had been with on camera. From his belly button there was a small trail of hair which led down to a course patch of white. A small part of her was satisfied to finally know if “the carpet matched the drapes,” so to speak. She’d always wondered about that. Her gaze traveled further down and she was finally able to see Soul’s dick in all its glory. For someone who seemed so self-conscious about showing it (especially to a girl who fucked people on camera in order to pay for college), Maka couldn’t see anything wrong with it. Sure, it wasn’t as large as some of the other cocks she’d seen in her day, but considering the job she had, she wasn’t really expecting Soul to compare to those. A part of her didn’t want him to. She noticed that he was circumcised, something Maka tended to prefer (though she had to keep reminding herself that her preferences didn’t matter because this was Soul, her _friend_ , nothing more), and Maka was surprised to note that he was a bit on the thick side as well.

All in all, Maka couldn’t understand what Soul was so bashful about. He looked just fine to her.

She looked up at Soul’s face to find him looking at her with a guarded expression. She realized belatedly that her extended scrutiny of his penis was probably a bit rude, and fully intended to apologize and tell her friend what she thought of his genitalia when Soul uncrossed his arms and allowed them to fall to his sides.

Oh. _Oh._

 _This_ was what Soul had been worried about other people seeing. From his left shoulder to right hip, a giant scar bisected his torso.The puckered flesh had long since healed, proving that the wound was old. But even from where she was sitting on the bed, she could make out the spots where the sutures had been when he was stitched up. It was clear that had Soul been stitched up by someone else, the scar might have healed better. 

Maka smiled ruefully up at her friend. “So how did it happen?”

The cool expression never left Soul’s face. He shrugged his shoulders in faux nonchalance. “When I was fourteen I was mugged when I went into the city alone. The guy had a knife. He tried to come at me when I refused to give him my wallet. I managed to stop him from killing me, but—” Soul gestured to his scar “—he managed to get in a pretty good swing with his blade before running.”

“Hey,” she said softly. “Come sit.”

Despite the fact that sitting naked next to your best friend on a bed that you shoot porn on seemed extremely uncomfortable in a variety of ways, it seemed preferable to standing in the line of her emerald-eyed scrutiny. He took a seat next to her, looking at the floor because it seemed better than looking at his very naked body. Soul wondered if other friends did things like this, or if this was just a weird Soul and Maka sort of thing. She seemed to be looking at the floor in front of them too. Soul didn’t know if that was good or bad.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” he asked eventually, self-consciousness starting to break through.

“Hmm?”

“My scar. I look like Frankenstein, don’t I?”

“Well, technically speaking, Frankenstein was actually the man who created the creature, not the monster himself, so—”

Soul let out dry laugh. “Thank you, sexy librarian. You know what I meant, though.”

“…Actually I was going to say it’s kind of hot.”

Soul’s eyes opened wide, and he glanced at his friend from the corner of his eye. “What?”

She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Scars are sexy, what can I say?” He continued to blanch at her. Maka turned to face him directly. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m just being honest. And it’s not like I’m the only one who feels that way! There are a ton of people who think scars are attractive!”

Soul could only snort in response, though he couldn’t stop the corners of his mouth from curling into a smile. This was not the reaction he was anticipating at all, but he was pleased with the conclusion nonetheless.

“You can snort all you want, but I’m serious! I swear if you asked Liz she’d probably let you star in one of the videos. You could be the wounded civilian in the hospital who gets the sexy nurse to take care of him, or something like that. The scar could be your angle.”

Without his consent, Soul’s mind immediately went to Maka, dressed in a very revealing nurse outfit, tracing the contours of his scar with her tongue and softly speaking about how she’s going to make all the pain go away. While the visual was very gratifying, it was absolutely not appropriate to be thinking about, one, because Maka was his best friend and not someone that he should be thinking about fucking, two, because he was sitting stark naked on a bed right beside her, and his arousal at the thought was becoming increasingly hard to hide.

“I think I’ll stick with the camera work, thanks,” he said, clearing his throat and shifting slightly away from Maka to hide the growing problem between his legs.

Being in the current job position that Maka was in, she knew full and well when a boy was getting a boner, though, and saw right through Soul’s measly attempts at concealing it. But Maka figured that she had embarrassed her friend enough for one day, and chose not to comment on it. Talking about fantasies tended to get boys excited rather quickly, and she couldn’t fault him for that.

Maka stood and turned away from Soul, stretching her arms high above her head and sighing when she felt her spine pop. “So, are we gonna go get that meal that I promised you? I’m starved.”

Soul thanked his lucky stars that Maka had turned around, and used the opportunity to walk back to the dresser and retrieve his clothes, which would help hide his arousal until the thoughts of Black Star eating sloppy joes softened it the rest of the way. “Yeah, let’s get out of here. I’m hungry too.”

After Soul was fully dressed and Maka had gathered all of their things, the two left Liz’s apartment, locking it up with Soul’s spare key and heading down to Soul’s bike. As they stood outside the apartment putting their helmets on, both couldn’t help but wonder if it was considered a date to get naked first and _then_ go to dinner.

**Author's Note:**

> (Originally published 5/1/14)


End file.
